Becoming Mum, Being Mum

I have no patience to play!

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I have no patience when it comes to playing with Joseph – there I said it. It’s not something that I am proud of, but its true. I’ve tried, I really have tried and I always will but I simply haven’t got the patience. When I do play with Joseph I end up getting frustrated. I really get into the swing of it, building a fort with the Megablocks and then he knocks it down. OR he just wants to sit on everything. Singing and dancing I will do all day long. I see myself as being more specialised on the active front. Peekaboo, hide and seek – I’m pretty sure I will come into my own when he is old enough for Knock Down Ginger (jokes) I just don’t have the attention span. I mean, don’t get me wrong he is so independent that he is more than happy to sit there and play with his toys but I do feel like I could help him more on the development front if I could patiently sit there with him for hours. The truth is, I just find it boring. Joseph is of the age where he doesn’t use the toys for what they’re even meant to be used for anyway. He just wants to press random buttons and chuck them across the room – so then I give up and go to my phone or make a tea. I feel actually quite ashamed saying that but its the truth. I guess I am good on the arts and crafts front and am always making the effort so that he has fun things to do but you cant help but beat yourself up for it can you.

hlhl

It’s the same with reading Joseph a story.  I love books and I love reading. I have always been so excited to be able to have that quality time over a book. At this point though I am yet to experience this – not for more than a couple of minutes anyway. I really get into it, put on my best voices, but Joseph will turn the page – not even to the next one but 4 at a time. He is completely unaware of all the pop up pages he is missing and I get so frustrated so in the end I give up. I’m like ‘ how can you not want to know what happened to the rabbit and his missing red socks? ‘ ‘ do you not want to know if he found them Joseph?’ I can only compare it to watching the whole series of  Broadchurch and not finding out who the killer was! It’s mind boggling.

jkh

I know this won’t last forever and we will share many special memories over a good book but at this moment I find it hard to have the patience when I feel like it isn’t appreciated anyway. I guess as adults we are so used to having appreciation shown and communicated to us it feels that when we don’t our efforts are wasted – but it isn’t like that at all. I think as Parents, we will always put pressure on ourselves and beat ourselves up in one way or another. I do think we need to chill out on that front. As long as our children are washed, fed and happy that should be all that matters shouldn’t it?!

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