If I could sum up in four words, what it’s like being Josephs Mum I would have to say; hard, emotional, rewarding, amazing – bloody amazing.
I would recommend this Motherhood lark to anyone that would be willing to listen.
Its funny because I had 9 months to prepare myself for being a Mum, but for some reason I just never really thought past the newborn stage. I never thought about Joseph talking, being a toddler, potty training and the rest of it. Its weird really, I just never saw past those first few months. I guess when you find out you’re expecting your first child, whether it be planned or a surprise, its a lot to get your head around.
& now here I am, 2years 7months deep in Motherhood. A Mum to a non stop talking, half potty trained toddler and I just couldn’t imagine my life being any other way, it truly is something else. It is without doubt the biggest emotional rollercoaster ride I have ever been on. It still feels weird sometimes to think that I am a Mum. In all honesty I don’t think I give myself enough credit sometimes, and by no means do I mean that in an arrogant way, I just don’t think any of us do. Like I said before though, I think the fact that we care, worry what we are like as parents and always striving to be better, has to mean were pretty good? The other day I had a really proud moment. Whenever Joseph steps into a house, whether that’s our own or someone elses, the first thing he does is take his shoes off, and such a little thing like that makes me super proud. Manners are something that my Dad was always strict with us growing up and its a quality of my own that I’m really proud of, so to see Joseph do the same made me realise that I must be doing something right. I say ‘I’ because its only my parenting skills that I ever question or doubt. I could not even begin to explain the kind of Dad Adam is to Joseph. Of course I’m bias, but Adam is without a shadow of a doubt a perfect Dad, and I write that so confidently. If anything, I learn things from him at times. He is everything I could have ever dreamed of as a co parent. We are now entering a bit of a cheeky stage with Joseph, which is funny at times but can be really testing and quite hurtful, but Ad always has my back and will always step in and say ‘don’t talk to Mummy like that’ or ‘ Mummy does a lot for you Joseph, show some appreciation’ it actually cracks me up because sometimes I wonder when we got so grown up!
Joseph is Adam’s little shadow. Its the cutest thing to watch, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a little jealous. I know that may sound bratty but I don’t blog to bullshit. I think I’m just going through that little transition stage, and I cant seem to cut the cord! Joseph is so independent now, he just doesn’t need me like he used to. The nappy changes are less frequent, he feeds himself, takes his own shoes and coat off etc, I guess I just feel a bit useless. So silly isn’t it? I should be loving the extra time to sit and drink a hot tea but I do sometimes yearn for those little moments. Take Breastfeeding for example. There were times I hated it because I was in so much pain but looking back, those were some of our most special moments and I cant wait to do it again with the next one, only if I can of course. Were currently in the middle of potty training and Joseph is doing brilliantly, but I think its me that’s kind of holding us back. I know life will be easier and cheaper once we are rid of the nappies but those special moments I really cherish.
So to wrap it up, life as Joseph’s Mum can be tiring and challenging but I truly believe this is what I am made to do. In those little moments when I’m needed, when Joseph is scared, wakes up in the night or is sick, I feel myself coming into my own. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t appreciate how lucky I am. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m 29 (fuck can you believe I’m 3o in 6 months) .. I still like to let my hair down and go a bit crazy from time to time but that’s just me, I intend to still be rocking out until I’m 80 HOWEVER the more into Motherhood I become, the more my priorities change and become more clear. When the night draws in and we’re tucking Joseph into bed, reading bed time stories or I’m attempting to sing to him until he tells me to stop, there is nowhere else I would rather be and certainly nothing in the world I would rather be doing than being ‘Josephs Mummy’