If I had to chose one word to sum up Parenthood, right here right now, it would have to be; HEADFUCK.. oh wait, that’s actually two! Oh bolllllocks! My brain huuuuuuurts. Ok, two words – HEAD FUCK. Strong? Maybe! True, YES. Yes its amazing, fun, rewarding bla bla bla, but so are relationships of all different kinds, and at some point or another they’re head fucks – this is no different. In the space of a minute, you can go from being obsessed with your child, laughing and joking.. to putting them to bed early because you simply cant handle anymore of their behaviour. Today has been one of those days, only bedtime was later..but still, because of his bloody behaviour.
Joseph is the apple of my eye, love of my life, but at times.. a pain in the bloody arse. Most days, I have to say, he is a dream.. I am lucky, but when that kid wants to go, boy does he GO. Tonights shit show was, dinner! Infact, all day he has refused to eat anything substantial and that was just the last straw to be honest. As always though, I melt. You know what its like ‘right youll go to bed without any dinner’ but of course we know that’s not the truth and give him a big bowl of apples and bannanas (which of course he shovels down) and then we go on to justify his behaviour with ‘oh maybe he is coming down with something’ …..just like the past few weeks with ‘ohhh maybe its the heat, maybe he is hot and bothered’ nope.. back down to 17degrees and the same old crap haha. To be fair though, we held our own for a good while, but my god, nothing quite hits you where it hurts than seeing your baby sob.. and want a cuddle. The latter part, always being the one that breaks me (and I swear he knows it too). Joseph is at that age, where cuddles are few and far between ( and for an affectionate like myself, this is tortuuuuure ) so if I’m presented with an opportunity where Joseph wants Mummy cuddles, he has me..hook line and bloody sinker.
I’ll be honest (and I’m nothing but with my blogging) I struggle with the tantrums, and I’m keen to research more into them and learn how to deal with them. Yes I know that a lot of the times, they are just being little gits BUT I do also believe that there are more reasons behind them (frustration/not understanding) and I want to learn to almost get inside his head. Naturally, I raise my voice, get cross etc but I don’t always think that helps the situation, and I am a believer in general, of when to pick and chose your battles. Generally, the naughty step works.. however, threatening him with the naughty step (when we get home) when were out in public, not so much. The problem with me is that I can discipline, but I’m such a softy that I don’t always see it through and so I don’t think that’s good for neither myself or Joseph, as it leads to confusion. I’m really confident that when Joseph reacts in certain ways, it isn’t a reflection on us or our methods of Parenting, but even so, I want to do what I can to ensure that he grows up respectful of other people and their feelings. So this is where we are currently at, at the moment. I mean, he isn’t the worst, and we are lucky in that sense but still, any bad behaviour isn’t acceptable. So I’m going to have a little read and research and see what tips I can find and share with you all.
Until then, right this second, I am going to go upstairs and stare at him sleeping for a while.. because no matter what kind of day we have had, as soon as he is sleeping, I miss him terribly. And that my friends, is why parenthood is a head fuck 😉