It is no secret that I am a self confessed ‘Romantic’ – Soppy, very borderline cringe.
I loveeeeee, love! I love everything about it. I don’t know why I am like that. I guess my Dad is quite soppy, so maybe he has just passed it down to me. I am a dab hand at writing poems for my friends & I even announced my pregnancy to my family in the form of a poem! Not to mention Valentine’s Day may aswel be my Birthday! & I have always been the same even when I was single. I guess I just want my happy ending. You know, the stuff you see in the films, & I’ll always make effort for that to happen.
Effort in a relationship is something that I find so important. Yes, relationships can work without it but it may not be as happy as you could potentially make it. It is even more important to make the effort when you have a baby. It is so easy for one of you to become sidelined, or unappreciated. When you have a baby it is so natural to just fall into your Parental roles, yet you almost forget that you are still a ‘couple’ – not just ‘Mum and Dad’. Date nights & making the effort with eachother help to remind you of that.
Date night’s can be few and far between and may not be as easy for some but there are other ways to make time for eachother. We aren’t always able to have them but there are other way’s we spend quality time together;
- Movie nights
- Cooking for eachother
- Booking a day off to spend time together
- Dinner themed nights. EG.. Mexican – Fahitas, Dotitos, Coronas!
- Dusting off the Wii & playing some bowling
- Bottle of red together
- Brushing teeth together – such a small thing but guaranteed giggles
Actually, when I became a Mum I think that was the transition I found the hardest. Some of my most special and fun memories have been nights out with the BF. You could stick us in an empty room with a bottle of wine and we would have the best time together & I really missed that at the beginning. Of course I cherised our family times together, they are truly the best, but I missed our nights out.
Becoming a parent & routine go hand in hand and your relationship can play a big part of that, but it is about breaking out of the habits and adding excitement – otherwise you are merely just plodding along. I always worried that on our date nights we would find ourselves just talking about Parenthood and Joseph, which isn’t a bad thing but I worried that we would lose the things that we had in common in the first place, but really it isn’t like that at all. Of course a big part of it is, we love talking about our Son, however we soon drift off on to other silly topics and giggle like kids again. Adult life can get so serious sometimes. Bills, work, parenthood – yet as soon as we have a Date night together we just have a break from it all and are just us again with no real responsiblities for the next few hours.
Men being men, are oblivious to alot of things, and I am pretty sure that the BF doesn’t know that sometimes I will squirt a bit of perfume before he get’s home from work or before bed ( you know the opening scene to Bridesmaids – that would be me) or that I will be wearing fake eyelashes and a new lippy tonight. Of course I do it for myself because it gives me more confidence, but I also never want to stop making those little efforts in my relationship because that is my way of showing how much I care.
Since having Joseph, the joy about date nights are that they are more of an occasion. They have become a real novelty again like at the start of the relationship. I genuinley couldn’t be more excited for our night tonight, & the BF has actually noticed that when we do have them I almost get a little nervous – just like when we first got together. We put so much effort into them and we are always on a high for the next few days after! I think that they definatley reconnect you and remind you of the exact reasons why you got together in the first place. There will be no dummies in our pockets, no sick or snot on our sleeves, no distractions – just us and a bottle of red! By the end of the evening we will be desperate to get back to our little man and that finishes the evening on an even more special note because we both have that bond that will always pull us together, and no one or nothing else could ever compete with that. That is the lovely thing about Date nights because it reminds us of the bond that pulled us together in the first place resulting in an even stronger bond that will keep us all together for the rest of our lives!
Relationships are hard, being a Parent is hard – life is hard but no storm lasts forever & having some quality time amongst it all will bring you closer together and take the edge off of it all. We all may sometimes mentally drift away at some point as a little escape but the things and people that make you happy soon bring you straight back in again and make you even more appreciative and sure of what you want in your life. Take some time out every so often to be silly and be yourselves again because you owe it to your relationship/marraige. A date night doesn’t have to be outdoors. It can simply be booking in some time for eachother to do something that you will both enjoy in the comfort of your own home. Book some quality time in together for the weekend or get your diary out and book in a night out for the pair of you for the next coming weeks! X