Being Mum, Life lessons

Friday’s thoughts.

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When I decided to start this blog, I started it with the aim that I was going to be as honest as possible. It’s so true that sometimes when you scroll through Social Media, be it your friends list on Facebook or the Celebs on Instagram, it is easy to be so envious of other people’s lifes. However, it is also true that I, like many, only show the ‘good stuff’. Why wouldn’t you of course?! Your hardly going to be uploading a picture of that time when your baby fell off the bed, your running mascara when you have just ‘had enough’, the sick on that ‘nice outfit’ as your leaving to walk out the door..

If you looked through my Instagram and looked at my pics, you wouldn’t think that 10 minutes before that super happy picture of Joseph was taken he was crying his eyes out because I took the remote control off of him, or you wouldn’t look at a pic of me and the BF and think that the evening before we may have had an argument. Pictures can be deceiving but I tell you what can’t always be – words, and this is what I wan’t my blog to be all about. Some people can put on such a front sometimes about how things are, and sometimes I think.. what a load of bullshit. Being a Mum is the most amazing thing in the world.. but lets be honest here, it isn’t sunshine and rainbows everyday! Somedays you just want to pull the quilt over your head and stay there all day – but it’s ok to feel like that, I’m pretty sure we all do?! I want to relate to people with my writing because I know I find comfort knowing other people go through the same thing, so here goes;

There is something that I find difficult sometimes, and that is finding the balance. Being a bit of a ‘people pleaser’ this can send me into a bit of turmoil.  First and foremost I am a Mum and this will always take priority over anything and anyone, but I am also a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister, an employee and a friend & I just find it so hard sometimes to dedicate my time and energy to so many different things. There are times when someone is going to feel neglected, but it simply cannot always be helped & you can’t help but feel guilty.

To  the friend that I have been meaning to catch up with for months, I’m sorry… to the friends that I have had to miss nights out with, I’m sorry…to the friend still waiting for that text back from last week, I’m sorry.

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We all have our stresses and struggles. It’s life! & i’m not saying it takes being a Mum before you have to juggle because it happens to everyone. There will always be that one person you wish you gave more time to, or the one friend that you wish you put more dates in the diary with. When you become a Mum your priorities change ALOT and it is hard to always find time for everyone. It isn’t anything personal but being a Mum is a full time job. I found it easier to make time for people in the early months. Lunches, dinners, coffees even the odd night out but as your child gets older a hangover is no joke and weekends are precious so it isn’t always easy to find time for everyone. At first I felt like I had to please so many people and try and keep up with what I was like pre Joseph, but it just isn’t possible. On the other hand I now think that your closest friends will totally understand that and if people are willing to drop you because your not the ‘drinking buddy’ you once was then it’s not a friendship that should be in your life. I have been really lucky in that sense. A couple haven’t bothered and dropped along the way but I really don’t hold it against them. If someone is willing to drop you so quick then they’re no friend of mine!

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As you get older, life can take each person in different directions – careers, moving away, starting a family – but the friendships worth having will withstand it all. It’s all about readjusting. I was worried my friendships would change after having a baby and I guess they have in the sense that I miss out on things and am not always available BUT I do know that I create better memories with my friends now and the catch ups mean even more.

It’s all part of ‘Growing Up’ 

I guess sometimes you just have to accept that there is a chance somebody will be pissed off with you. What I am learning is that throughout everything, communication is key. We can all be a bit guilty of not doing this. We try and read eachother too much that I think  wires can so easily get crossed. I tend to explain myself alot but that is because I like people to understand that nothing is ever personal and I am starting to learn that with other people. There hasn’t been many occasions I have had to miss but now I have Joseph, time is so precious that I can’t always make people’s birthdays, I accidentally double book, I can just be a bit all over the place with my dates sometimes but in any situation I believe you should reassure someone. It is so easy to take things personal sometimes but if you communicate you can ensure that your always on the same page. One of my best friends always says to me ‘ stop apologising, you’r a Mum, you don’t have to explain yourself – bless her‘ But no, I really do and I like to. I respect their feelings enough for them to know that missing an occasion isn’t personal, not texting back isn’t personal, having to cancel a date that has been in the diary for months .. isn’t personal. If you respect someone, an explanation is necessary. It’s all about being on the same page

I feel like with alot of things, the more into Motherhood I get, the more I am learning and adjusting. So much changes when you become a parent, I never really realised how much would but I also feel that when my friends have babies I will be a better friend for it because I will know exactly what they are going through.

Regardless of your situation, life is one big juggling act but aslong as your doing the best you can then that’s got to be good enough – 💗

Happy Friday friends. Tonight I will be balancing a fahita in one hand and a glass of wine in the other  – areeeeeeeba 😘

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