Life lessons

What really makes you happy?!

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I haven’t even begun and already I feel my shoulders drop and breathing more controlled. God I’ve missed this. This is why I started blogging. As mentioned before, I started in order to hopefully help others, like I was helped from blogs in my first year of Motherhood, but also for my love of writing. I love just typing and seeing where it takes me & I love having somewhere to channel my thoughts, because trust me..I have so many I know that many of you can relate to a fair few.

So to start, let me tell you about the reason behind this blog post, or should I say the inspiration. I’m really into Podcasts & Audio books at the moment, and the other night I decided to listen to ‘Fearne Cotton – Happy’ As you’ll know, I’m really into mind-set and all that jazz, as I suffer from Anxiety. I think we all suffer from elements of it, just sometimes mine can come on full force. I think my Anxiety even make me think its worse than what it is? Does that make sense? I can be fine for weeks/months on end and then BAM it rears its ugly head. Last week it was pretty bad, so I decided to give ‘Happy’ a go as I had heard so many good reviews on it. I was feeling ok in myself, quite chirpy to be honest but the pins and needles came in my hands and up my arms, the chest tightening for no reason and the racing thoughts – I can handle it, its just really fucking annoying! In ‘Happy’ Fearne talks through her life, her mental health struggles and methods she has used/uses to overcome it in all aspects of her life, including many tips. I absolutely loved it and recommend it to anyone. It really got me thinking about what truly makes me happy, and here I am. When my anxiety comes on, it tends to be because I’m trying to do too much. I get overwhelmed so easily, and when that happens I just have to pull myself back. from things. Its taken me a long time to realise that. Usually I don’t realise until my body starts screaming out at me and I get mouth ulcers from being so run down, but now I tend to notice the signs that I’m well on my way.  In the midst of my anxious outbreaks , all I want to do is lock myself away from people.. hide in my bedroom for days and watch Friends, but obviously I cant….I’m a Mum and a bloody adult! The truth is, I  hate people seeing that side to me. Like many of others, I hate people seeing that vulnerable side to me. I like to think I’m quite a strong person so to show that side to me makes me feel weak.. which I know is really silly! ANYWAY, like I said, it really got me thinking to what makes me happy and what causes me stress. So here I am, proposing to you to write a list of what really makes you happy.

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This week, I have shifted my mindset and focus and I cant tell you how much more relaxed I feel for it. Blogging, for all its amazingness can be quite intense and by that I am referring to Instagram. I’m a big fan of insta. I love sharing photos and admiring other peoples but as far as blogging goes, it can be quite intense. Building up a following on Instagram can be a full time job in itself, its so intense. I’m really bad on Instagram for that. I’m quite active in terms of vlogging on Instastories, sharing and liking other peoples photos but I find it hard to find the time to interact that much with other people.. which is kind of essential in terms of building up your following. Instagram was becoming a bit of a stress for me and making me anxious. Sounds weird but its true. I couldn’t shut off from it, and fI elt like I had to keep doing stuff on it to build my following up! I’m always quite present on Inststories but I started to feel under pressure to keep up appearances and it was taking over a bit. So anyway, for that reason, I decided to take myself away and focus on the other things that make me happy so that when I return it feels more natural and less of a chore.

Since taking that step, already I feel a lot more calm and in the moment. Before I felt so compelled to catch as much as I could on my phone and share with my followers, it was almost an addiction.. I would do it second nature. I mean there is nothing wrong with that, I do enjoy sharing things, but I have so many other things going on at the moment, I just need to step back and focus more on my priorities; my family, friends, business & writing. All of the things that truly make happy.

So as I said, if you’re feeling a bit up in the air at the moment..strip it all back, make your happy list and focus more on the things that make you tick.. trust me it will work wonders. Also, some of you may be aware, some of you may think I sound bonkers but Mercury is currently in retrograde so if you’re in a bit of a funk, this may explain things a bit better for you  https://www.almanac.com/content/mercury-retrograde-dates

Here are a few things that make me happy;

Coffee Shops – Ahhh, one of my favourite things about Winter. You will find me in a coffee shop atleast 3 times a week. Whether I’m alone, with family or friends I just feel such a feeling of calmness and contentment. It may not last too long, but I really breathe it all in. I love catching up with people over a hot drink, or simply watching the world go by.

Tea – As far as I’m concerned, its a hug in a mug and for those few minutes.. all problems feel solved! Tea in a big mug is my go to comfort. Ok, so not everything may  be solved over a tea, but you can give it a good old go!

Woodland walks – http://www.mytimeactive.co.uk/highelms is my absoloute favourite. I have created so many fond memories there. There is something about long walks and being at one with nature that bring me so much peace.  Whether that’s with friends, family, or on my own listening to music. I love the outdoors.

Cooking – There is something that I find SO thereaputic about cooking. It makes me so happy and at peace. I’m such a home bird these days. Cooking up a storm with a glass of wine in hand, listening to music – utter bliss.

Candles – night or day, if you come to my house you’ll find a candle burning!!! Of an evening my bedroom as more than a cathedral I swear.

Sunshineeee– I mean, this has to be a given for most people. Today we had the most beauuuutiful weather. Joseph and I sat outside the Pato lounge in the gleaming sunshine, and I felt so relaxed and content. Joseph was chatting away with his ice cream, me with my caramel latte.. it just felt like the most loveliest half an hour.

Gym –  I love any form of excrcise. I always have done since I was younger. It gives my mind a little break, and I think its so important for our mental wellbeing. It doesn’t have to be intense exercise, even a brisk walk can make the biggest change to your mindset!

Minimalism – I LOVE letting my hair down, that’s never gonna be change!! I’m gonna be that drunk auntie at all the parties that gets way too pissed and over takes the karaoke, I’ve made peace with that BUT I don’t think people realise how much I love being boring. Get me on a night out or behind the camera and I get hyper and can talk the arse off of a donkey but when I’m relaxed, with my family and friends im super chilled and a bit boring. Im fun Bobby from Friends 😉 Being boring these days makes me happy. Just being indoors, no make up, lounge wear and a cuppa, ahhhhhhh beautiful. Exactly what I’m doing now and I feel so relaxed!

As far as my happy list goes, I could go on and on.. but when life gets a bit overwhelming for me.. I turn to each one of those things to bring me more at ease and it works wonders. So many people put so much effort into their exterior, me included at times , but its so important we put even more effort and time to our wellbeing.

Life can get a bit much sometimes cant it? For no real reason, it can only take the tiniest thing to make you feel a bit, blaaaaa but its totally normal! You just need to take a break from the things that are causing you a bit of stress, write your happy list and focus on those things for a while, but most importantly.. yourself! All the love x

Its all for you x 

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