I’ve written before about how I really feel like ‘I know who I am’ and how ‘I feel really settled in my life’ & I still stand by both of those statements, however in some ways, I sometimes feel like as much as I have gained from being a Mum, at times it is easy to lose a little bit of ‘yourself’.
With all the stresses that come with being an ‘adult’ it’s hard sometimes to not become uptight and stressed. I still have fun and I still laugh a lot but I never realise how much I need to let my hair down until I get the opportunity. It isn’t an easy thing for me to leave him sometimes, however I think it is so important to still be ‘You’ aswel as ‘Mum’– to make that time for yourself. It isn’t easy – I am constantly tired and just want to curl up with a film but as important as it is to catch up and relax I think it’s important to put yourself out there too, otherwise you can end up a bit consumed..especially with my million miles an hour mind!
Take this weekend for example. We had a Wedding. I got all dolled up, had a few vinos, danced like a nutter – I let my hair down and laughed a lot. It just felt so nice to dress up and be girly. I haven’t done it in ages! I’m always in jeans, and more often than not they end up with Joseph’s lunch or dribble splattered all over them. I feel as though Motherhood has made me as a person but sometimes I forget to still keep a bit of the ‘pre-mum’ me going and can take life all a bit too seriously.
Sometimes you get into such a routine & role of being parents that you forget that you are still individual’s and still a couple – not just ‘Mum & Dad’. I used to have such a care free air about me and I understand it’s impossible to have that with a child but I think sometimes you have to remember not to take life too seriously all the time. For the first time in a long time, I woke up the next day surprisingly relaxed. Usually my anxiety comes in full throttle ‘Did I make a fool out of myself’ ‘Did I speak out of turn’ ‘The Joseph guilt’ the usual... but the waves of anxiety were nowhere to be seen. I just felt so relaxed and happy from a good night of feeling like ‘me’. Of course Joseph was never far from my thoughts but I felt like I could relax more than normal. Life can be stressful sometimes..work pressures, finances, bills etc it’s so nice to have a night off from all the responsbilities. For a Mum, whether it’s having a coffee or a wine with a friend, getting your hair or nails done, all the little things that make you feel like ‘you’ & the same goes for men too. In any situation I feel like it is important to take care of yourself so you feel strong and ready to deal with any problem or situation life has to throw at you. It’s about being the strongest and happiest person you can be for yourself and for your family.
This morning I woke up with a clear head, feeling positive, albeit a bit on the tired side – but I felt good! I think we all need it now and again..that break for ourselves to let our hair down, in whatever form that is. For me, it’s dressing up, having a drink and dancing (badly)- & that’s exactly what I did 💃